All my different teenage girlfriends on one list
It all started with buck-toothed Elaine, who, in the bitter end, became a model, a real one, not a pretend one.
Then it was that girl with the heaving bosom, the nervous twitch and the Michael Jackson L.P. and whose risqué verse Valentine’s Day card failed to please my mother.
Then it was that girl with the Italian surname, and a heaving bosom, and whose brother was fat and ill then died.
Then it was that girl in brown doc marten boots who liked to fight, anyone.
Then it was that girl with the big round glasses, whose breath always smelt like smoky bacon crisps in an empty Sunday school yard
Then it was Veronica, she went on holiday, broke my heart, was never seen again.
Then it was that quiet siren with the straight black hair.
Then it was that girl ‘O’Sullivan’, she had buck teeth too.
Then it was that girl with the big red hair, another heaving bosom, it cradled me when I couldn’t stand up, she lives in Canada now.
Then it was that girl who let me see her heaving bosom close up and cold, I never went back, others did, many again and again, I feared infection.
Then it was that girl with the acne and a heaving bosom.
Then it was that very short girl with a heaving bosom, who took me back to her house to see her amazing heaving bosom, her mum made me walk five miles in snow.
Then it was that girl at the bus stop, her surname rhymed with a popular cage bird.
Then it was that girl who insisted on pressing me against all the walls and dampening my face.
Then it was that girl at the seaside, I admired her great fashion sense, her parents were divorced.
Then I stopped, because a new girl demanded I take her more seriously than my flesh dictated
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